I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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