so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize