then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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