I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
