we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
