I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
