I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
