All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
