I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize