Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm passing your future prison.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
