guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
