remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
