Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
