i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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