Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Pappa wants mamma naked
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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