he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize