Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
