"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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