brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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