So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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