Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize