btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
