Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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