my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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