mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
