dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
did you just send me my own nude
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
