On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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