drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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