turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
