lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
