Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize