Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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