Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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