Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
my poor anus
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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