Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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