Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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