Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
