I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
