Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
