cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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