So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
