Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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