I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She announced her abortion via fbk
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
