Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
