He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Randomize
