I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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