dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
