Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
