he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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