Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize