Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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