chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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