Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
