id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
