lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize