if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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