I can tuck mytits in my pants
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
