He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
