can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He passed out mid-signature
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
