I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
