it was like his penis was on wheels.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
