was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
