your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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