oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
