Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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